Make-up and Me

*Disclaimer : If you are one of my female friends who believes in make-up application and/or have tried to convince me to try to migrate to the dark side, please forgive me and dont rush after me with clubs and evil eyes. You know I couldnt care less about cosmetics but I care about your advice :P*

A female friend gave me a call to gush about a bronzer she got on sale. Since I didnt know what to do, I gushed back and said that I was jealous. In the crevices of my head I was wondering what is a bronzer and why would a female love it so much if its on sale. I played along and acted like I knew what it is, and thanked God that I dont use video telephony as yet. 

Ree, then enlightened me about bronzer and I figured that it was a tanning lotion that gives a shiny look to the legs.

Now,I experience very high levels of discomfort around cosmetics. I dont understand make-up and am quite happy about that fact. For this reason, some of my girlfriends hate taking me for lipstick and eyeliner shopping. In fact they keep insisting that I apply make-up whenever we go out for our dinners and outings. And then I start on my theory about chemicals and layers and the usual blah. (The only chain I do like is the Body Shop and thats because of Anita Roddick and her activist work).

No I dont rant about 'inner beauty' both because its overrated and it means something completely different in a girl and a guy's mind (If you dont understand this last sentence may I advise you to read some Jackie Collins--thats kindergarten stuff btw)

Plus I dont want to  quote the 'inner beauty' argument and get a cheeky answer like the Prada movie, but I do doff my hats to people who go ahead and spend time applying make-up.

Its just well too too time consuming and unnecessary for me. 

First of all, why would anyone with a sane mind buy a bronzer? (It reminds me of the tanning episode of Friends!)And what kind of an invention gets named bronzer? Then some cosmetic chains have three layers of creams that a person needs to apply before sleeping. In that case, when does a person sleep? And who would want to sleep next to a candy store(in case of married women!)? Is fruity smelling/rose smelling the new stimulant in the world of bedroom adventures ?

I just heard of a lip plumper!! Now why would anyone want to use something like that ????? Plumper? Does it add more volume to lips? or add more color to the lips to make it appear voluptous? And what happens when you remove the make-up? Is the real deal revolting? 

At some level, I have made my peace with Kajal and an occasional lip gloss. Anything beyond that and I have icky moments of my own.

For now, have to figure out how to bribe my cosmetic friendly gals and get them back to normal :)